RACHEL FROM ACCOUNTS

(by Dr Paul Sutton, MA (Oxon), DPhil (Oxon), Patrol Leader (Panthers), Fellow of the Royal Society of Call Centre Operatives, VC, GM, ex-SAS, member 1966 England Squad, ACAB, FAAI).

Of course, all politicians lie and exaggerate. But our Chancellor Rachel Reeves is comedy gold at it, a veritable Baron Munchausen of the bogus CV.

Reeves (apparently) read PPE at Oxford, a degree responsible for many of our modern ills and studied by nearly all of our wretched leading politicians. Not Blair or Starmer, who read law - the cause of all the other problems.

But she’s been a shameless liar about her subsequent career! A graduate trainee for six years at the Bank of England (one of which was studying at the LSE) translated into a decade spent as an economist at the Bank. She then worked for HBOS on their complaints desk, which became ‘working as an economist for a major retail bank’. One might wonder why an economist would leave somewhere as prestigious as Threadneedle Street, for a back-office job in what sounds like a call-centre. One of her HBOS colleagues suggested that creativity on her expenses forms - and time spent moonlighting for Labour - contributed to her leaving that illustrious role in retail banking. Anyway, she’s since edited her CV to remove the lie about HBOS, although on legal documents from 2008 she gives ‘economist’ as her occupation.

Labour trailed Reeves as some talented and experienced international economist, able to address the financial problems left by the wretched Tories. But she’s not an economist, which is someone like Hayek, Friedman or Keynes. Doing something at university doesn't equate to being it. Somebody who reads history doesn't become an 'historian', anymore than reading criminology makes someone a criminal.

Needless to say, the BBC, The Guardian, James O’Brien et al are completely silent on this deception, despite the serious implications for our economy and the appalling job she’s doing running it. If a Tory had lied about being a sixer in the cubs - or eating a cake - we’d have 24/7 BBC and ITV news coverage, until they resigned.

Reeves even lied about being a junior chess champion! She actually came 17th in some national competition. I’m sure she’d beat me - I like the game though I’m hopeless at it - but isn’t it both pathetic and alarming, to fib over something so unimportant but easily checked? I’d take claims she passed her cycling proficiency test - or got a Blue Peter badge - with truckloads of salt.

What a shower we have running this country. Panto season has come early this year:

‘Gap Year’ Starmer - aka ‘Free Gear’/’Two-Tier’/’Never Here’

Rachel ‘Baroness Munchausen’ Reeves

David ‘Red Leicester is a blue cheese’ Lammy

Angela ‘Rita, Sue, and Bob Too’ Rayner

Yvette ‘Balls in name plus performance’ Cooper

UPDATE

As ever, the discussion on Reeves has descended into sexism. I see that some disgusting ‘gammon’ has posted this, under The Spectator's article on Reeves’ fraudulence:

Say what you like about Rachel Reeves, but what a breath of fresh air to have this English rose clutching the red box.

Alas, my salad days are long past, but in my youth we'd not have hesitated to say:

'What a smashing bit of crumpet!'

I've no doubt Ms Reeves would be delighted to hear that this pensioner thinks she's a credit to bank clerks everywhere.

Possibly less regional branches would have shut, if this Richard III lookalike was still taking deposits?