GCSE APPLIED MATHEMATICS PAPER II
MUCH CHANGED FROM MY YOUTH...
I applaud this tricky subject being made accessible for today’s young shavers but surely this is going too far?
4th June 2025: GCSE APPLIED MATEMATICS PAPER II (1 hour 15 minutes, calculators allowed).
Candidates must answer all questions and are advised to seek counselling on gender transitioning if they require additional time:
The Tapas Seven - with special guests Kate and Gerry McCann - are enjoying a late poolside dinner, sharing anecdotes on vacation anaesthetics.
They decide to split the bill into equal shares, and it comes to 500 Euros total (no babysitting charges payable).
How much do the Leicestershire couple pay for this unforgettable evening?
Fred West is building an extension and has five bodies to bury - three of his family plus two hitchhikers who made the mistake of visiting Gloucester.
How much gravel does Fred need for 6m by 6m by 2m foundations, if it has a density of 5g/cm3?
Harold ‘Fred’ Shipman is planning some ‘winter flu jabs’ and wants to reduce his patient roll by 25%. If he has 400 rattling old codgers on his books, how many won’t see another summer?
Jack the Ripper is planning a spree in London’s delightful Whitechapel district. If he has a 1% chance of capture on each kebabbing, how many trips can Saucy Jack risk before even our hopeless Old Bill are certain to ‘buckle him’?
BONUS QUESTION: Estimate the probability of three ‘Ukrainian male-model’ blazes engulfing property owned by ‘Two Tier’ Kier Starmer.
Payments into Swiss Bank accounts will be given for rough-trade calculations of rental charges.
FOR HIGHER CANDIDATES ONLY
If designer specs cost £5k and Taylor Swift freebies £500/person, how many bungs did Lord Alli make to fund the Starmer ‘family’?
(assume a reasonable number of children and costings for Lady Victoria Sponge, showing your working).
Oh god- I can barely breathe. 🤣🤣No wonder I only got a C at O level- answering these would have no doubt generated a U 🤣🤣or if I’d been able to work out the body density for gravel maybe an A
Q7. If the IQ of the Foreign Secretary is 80, the Home Secretary 90, the PM 95, in what range is the Chancellor’s IQ to qualify as one of the three wise monkeys?